i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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