You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
