TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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