I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize