hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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