I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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