Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
