i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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