so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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