from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
