I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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