the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
