I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
