Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Still dying that you shit outside
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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