It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
