he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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