I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
