we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize