I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
