i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
