i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
