When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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