and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
