he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
