Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
