have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
