When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
