he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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