Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
