hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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