Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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