he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize