two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
