Having a random hookup so left but love u
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
