things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
