You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
