Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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