Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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