tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
