First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
