david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize