Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
