My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
