There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
