Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
