PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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