If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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