Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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