That's intense
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
