He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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