no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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