i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
