shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
