Rock
Scissors
Fuck
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
