Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
i need some magic done to my vagina
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
