i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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