sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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