Me. At least after what I've been through.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize
