It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
No subtext here. People are naked.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
